Today's award in "I should NOT have said that" goes to...

Hello everyone.
Here's yet another update about my experiences.

I find myself telling my partner things I probably shouldn't. How do you approach talking about... eh, DIFFERENT things with a significant other who staunchly refuses to believe in anything he can't prove? I was laying in bed the other night, trying to sleep, and the oddest thing happened. I heard a man's voice in my head... he yelled my name, trying to get my attention (from the sound of it). It sounded really desperate. Needless to say, I snapped to attention and was wide awake after that. I knew, somehow, that it was completely real. Somebody... something, yelled my name that night. Something was there. I had to tell my partner about it... how often do you hear someone yell your name like that? Problem is... I heard it in my head. Which is something you can't prove.
I'm worried I might have to keep all this to myself, despite previously telling him everything. I probably sound like a nutter to anyone else. The last thing I need is a group of concerned people trying to get me "mental help". (While feeling like the most rational, sane, well put-together person in the area). But these odd things going on lately are making me restless. I lay in bed every night, thoughts racing, unable to sleep. I feel like something is in the room with me, watching. I will get random tingles on my arms and the back of my neck and have to check the room, because it's almost like something HAS to be in the room. I've posted about this before but it keeps happening. I can get the most ridiculous, obscene amount of sleep and still be drained and tired in the morning. I can't remember the last time I was full of energy.

I was hoping someone might have some advice on how to contact this entity. If it's just some part of my higher self wanting to be heard, there's no harm in trying, right? I'm quite inexperienced so I honestly have no idea where to look, which is why I feel like I need help with this.

I would also like to add that I have tried meditation with little success... perhaps I'm just not in the right state of mind?

Personally I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that lives in a such a different reality when it comes to spirituality and magick, such as a sceptic or someone that doesn't feel drawn to an inner pursuit. I would find it too much of an incompatibility as to me spirituality and metaphysics play a center role in my daily life and how I view the world. Don't get me wrong I'm not judging you or saying your options are wrong, just stating why it wouldn't work for me. I would not be able to feel complete by the side of a partner with such mindset disparity.

As for the entity, if you continuously feel drained from it then maybe attempting some form of banishing might be more advised than actual contact or interaction with it, especially given your lack of experience in dealing with disembodied entities.

You mentioned the possibility of this being a part of your higher self but if this entity is regularly draining you I would say that it being your higher self is unlikely at this point.

Burning some sage is said to help cleanse an area, not just of 'bad' spirits, but of its overall energy signature. I would suggest asking the aid of a favourite Goddess/being (through prayer/some sort of ritual) whilst doing this if you weren't confident.

Yes, the relationship can be extremely difficult sometimes. I often feel like I have two faces. I try to hide the depth of my interest in the occult from him because I'm afraid of his reaction. When it comes to the spiritual side of things, I definitely wear a mask around some people.
And yes, I totally understand how much this is halting my inner growth. I'm still trying to figure out how to conduct myself around him when it comes to these matters, and still remain true to myself. I know I have to faithfully walk my own path without worrying about his opinion, or anyone else's. I'm trying every day... hopefully I get more brave and less fearful as time goes on, and as I exert more effort to grow.

As for the entity... I will try the sage or banishing and see what happens. That would be a huge step for me... all I've done so far involving occult stuff is research and burning candles while focusing on an intent.

Rhea. I seem to be going through the same thing. (Entity surrounding you and even speaking in your head). I have many experiences that I will most likely not share here due to personal reasons. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat. It can be tough but please know. I believe you when you say it's real. Don't doubt it. You will lose touch with yourself. Trust me, you will go mad questioning yourself. People will say it's all in your head. You've gone crazy! But... There is a very fine line between crazy and the occult... Rhea, embrace it. Hold it close. Let it out. It knows you better than anyone fucking will. It understands you because it is a part of you. Evoke it if you choose but please accept it and don't try to rid off it!

I think telling Rhea that this entity is only a part of her alongside all other advices to embrace it, evoke it and holding it close may be unwise at best. Truth is that we don't know much about the entity she is experiencing contact with and while it could be only a part of her there is also a very real chance of it being a foreign entity. The astral and other realms of energy aren't exactly safe places. Entities without the ability to incarnate but with the ability to communicate with the living aren't always peaceful and filled with good intentions. Caution is my advice. Sure, explore it and find out more about it, but be wary of simple and easy advice that may bring you trouble in case this entity turns out to be something you're not expecting or equipped to deal with.

Seriously who gives a shit if the entity isn't 'nice'. Use it to your advantage. Embrace it. Let it be you. Is this forum for 1st grader wimps? Who don't want a piece of the demonic pie? If you say you don't. You're just lying. Embrace your animalistic sense of pride and live the egotistical life you've always wanted. Fuck me. I think I'm on the wrong forum if this is the pathetic advice people are giving. Wake the fuck up! Life is not 'nice'. It's hell. So why not join instead of fighting it? I'm telling you. It's worth it. None of this mumbo jumbo fucking banishing shit will get you anywhere. This is a vampirism forum for fucks sake. If you're not attracted to the dark side then why the fuck are you here? Haha. I remember being continuously banned from a satanic forum for my different thinking. Bunch of pussies. Useless except for fucking with. Cunts. That is all. Let's see this get flamed now. Or it could go the other way and everyone will ignore this. Either way, I said what I wanted. >

Why are we not friends mon ami. Except for the whole 'mumbo jumbo' part, mumbo and jumbo can be extremely useful companions.

Nightshade wrote:I think telling Rhea that this entity is only a part of her alongside all other advices to embrace it, evoke it and holding it close may be unwise at best. Truth is that we don't know much about the entity she is experiencing contact with and while it could be only a part of her there is also a very real chance of it being a foreign entity. The astral and other realms of energy aren't exactly safe places. Entities without the ability to incarnate but with the ability to communicate with the living aren't always peaceful and filled with good intentions. Caution is my advice. Sure, explore it and find out more about it, but be wary of simple and easy advice that may bring you trouble in case this entity turns out to be something you're not expecting or equipped to deal with.

Good advice, Nightshade. Your experience and maturity shows.

I would also like subscribe to these words as opposed to immature nonsense that clearly lacks understanding on working with entities and metaphysics.

Nightshade wrote:I think telling Rhea that this entity is only a part of her alongside all other advices to embrace it, evoke it and holding it close may be unwise at best. Truth is that we don't know much about the entity she is experiencing contact with and while it could be only a part of her there is also a very real chance of it being a foreign entity. The astral and other realms of energy aren't exactly safe places. Entities without the ability to incarnate but with the ability to communicate with the living aren't always peaceful and filled with good intentions. Caution is my advice. Sure, explore it and find out more about it, but be wary of simple and easy advice that may bring you trouble in case this entity turns out to be something you're not expecting or equipped to deal with.

I think... You should grow a pair. And yes I have experienced 'evil' deities before and yes I have embraced them into my life. Have you? If not, then what are you basing your advice on? How can you make a proper comparison? If you have not experienced them first hand then i would understand your toal and complete ignorance on what they can do for you. Indeed this forum does seem to be filled with ass lickers. I may have to take my ideas elsewhere as nobody seems to be able to appreciate the darker side and are only interested in burning some fucking sage and casting some half rate fluffed up banishing spells. Burning sage is not going to do anything except lead your into mind into a false sense of safety.

Jonathan wrote:

Nightshade wrote:I think telling Rhea that this entity is only a part of her alongside all other advices to embrace it, evoke it and holding it close may be unwise at best. Truth is that we don't know much about the entity she is experiencing contact with and while it could be only a part of her there is also a very real chance of it being a foreign entity. The astral and other realms of energy aren't exactly safe places. Entities without the ability to incarnate but with the ability to communicate with the living aren't always peaceful and filled with good intentions. Caution is my advice. Sure, explore it and find out more about it, but be wary of simple and easy advice that may bring you trouble in case this entity turns out to be something you're not expecting or equipped to deal with.

Good advice, Nightshade. Your experience and maturity shows.

I would also like subscribe to these words as opposed to immature nonsense that clearly lacks understanding on working with entities and metaphysics.

Clap, clap. Congratulations, you have somehow managed to prove to yourself that your opinion is not only better than mine but is also more mature! What is your scale for rating immaturity? I have delt with entities for 20 years. Since I was 7. I do not lack any understanding of them. And metaphysics is just a stupid idea for self rightous pricks to battle out their higher 'morals' to make themselves feel better because deep down they know what they want but they are just too weak to take it.

Shinigami_kris user is now banned.

Thanks Sybil. It has been a while since we got another of these roleplayers that don’t even realize what the meaning of darkness is. The internet is full of this kind of crap and poor advice, that’s exactly what makes this forum so different.

Rhea please keep us posted on your progress with this and sorry about the mess in your thread.

Oh jeez he was a nutjob. How I didn't see that...

This kind of ignorant advice is often found among those who never had any experience with truly dark forces. A bit of hands on with it and he would know better than say such things.
Of course we should explore the darkest corners without ourselves and out there in the world must one do so with wisdom otherwise they won't survive it in the long run.

Thanks Jonathan and Sybil.

Whew... things got interesting while I was away!

I agree with everyone else that the banned poster doesn't have a good understanding of the word "darkness." I would love to have some experience with dark forces but I want to know myself and have plenty of wisdom before it happens. I want to remain grounded and assured of my experiences without becoming swayed by my anger or ego. So I'm trying to take it slowly.

I agree that embracing the entity wouldn't be the best bet for me. The longer this goes on, the more I think it is separate from me, and not exactly peaceful. I don't think it wants to harm me but weird things keep happening. I want to act like a cautious stranger... courteous, but smart and keeping my distance.

The thoughts from the entity aren't really thoughts anymore, but impulses or quick visions. One extremely disturbing thing that has happened on several occasions is that I'll be talking to someone and get a quick vision of me doing something horrible to them out of nowhere. (I'm a generally nonviolent person and it takes A LOT to get me to the point of physical contact.) My stream of thought will stop once this happens, and I'll get pretty confused. (Thinking, wow, that was NOT me... why would I ever do that to someone else???) What really bothers me about it is that I can FEEL that the impulse is coming from something else. Like this thing wants me to harm people... will start out the impulse with the feeling of "wouldn't it be funny if you did THIS to so-and-so" and I spend a lot of time wondering why.

My energy levels are still sapped. Normally, I can sleep for half a day once I feel this way and wake up feeling pretty good. But for months I've felt constantly down and drained.

At this point I have no idea what to do. I don't want to try a banishing just yet because I'm curious about what the entity actually is. I'm not sure how I'd find out. The doubt about my ability to find out is what's holding me back at this point. I'm plagued with constant questions...

Rhea Kaye.......

I think you would benefit from this book.  It will not deal in a direct manner with what you are dealing with, but it will open areas so you can understand what you may be dealing with and why.  Dr Elena Gabor (Romanian) is hard to understand as English is not her mother tongue but the interview I listened to gave me a deeper understanding of what is going on with all of us.  It appears she has classified the sections of our being in a way that is easier to understand.   So ... "Home at the Tree of Life" by Dr. Elena Gabor can be found on Amazon.  $9.99 on kindle.  I was really impressed by the knowledge she revealed working with her patients over the years.

Thanks, I will have to give it a look. I definitely need more resources involving metaphysics, especially for beginners.