Hello everyone

Firstly so I can put my experience into perspective I have a big imagination and as a result of that I believe full heartedly in the hidden quantum of human potential.  When I was six I had an epiphany  " TIME " seemed to slow right down - I was absolutely and unequivocally transfixed in the " NOW " I sensed myself looking down on the world from some distant vantage point in space - and for the briefest moment in time felt such a deep connection " A Oneness " with the planet - I was so emotional from the experience that I started to cry. Then when I was 12 I started playing around with Ouija boards and talked my friends into having séances.  It was during this period of time that my dreams started to become EXTREMLEY lucid .  I kept dreaming of snakes / eagles.  In one dream I was walking through the streets of a really ancient city the thoroughfare was flanked on all sides by huge stone pillars.  A huge earthquake hit and some people started running toward me and led me to a spiral staircase that led up to the roof section of this building. Once I reached the top I poked my head through a hole and found myself stepping up /out  into a whole new world ( later I found out the scene was a little like the Hopi myths ) Over the horizon this HUGE snake started to approach me ( and it felt like my fate was sealed ) - it then circled me and took on the form of an Ouroboros .

During my sessions on the Ouija board / séances my friends parents started noticing rapping noises on the walls and during one séance at a friends birthday party we turned all the lights out and lit a candle and just as our concentration peeked a whole lot of synchronous events occurred all at the same time which left a group of very panicked girls scratched and burnt from the pandemonium that ensued .  Point is I became very aware of an energetic presence ? My interest in the occult never really abated over the years even though I made a conscious effort never to participate in Ouija boards and séances again.  

Then a few years ago during a short stint on Myspace a whole lot of new and very odd synchronicities started to emerge ( in particular a  Hopi Indian connection ) which seemed to parallel my earlier dream all of these events ended up strengthening and renewing my interest in psychic phenomena.  Without going into to many details I met someone that told me they believed I was a psychic vampire ? and to be honest as much as I cared deeply for him I thought the person was crazy coz even though I believed full heartedly in the psychic realm and all of its limitless possibilities I also believed by nature each and every one of us would be born with the means to protect ourselves from such things as psychic attacks ? I resented the fact that he believed I was draining his energy ( I think this stemmed from the possessive side of my nature ) but energy was the KEY WORD and it was then I realised that the energy aspect of all of these events tied in together ?  

And while I am ashamed to admit it I think there have been times I have actually unwittingly / unknowing hurt others and this is the aspect of my thinking that particularly worries me.  I need to learn to control my emotional responses or learn the ability to disconnect when the negative human emotions emerge. Can a person disconnect the energy aspect of their nature from their emotions ? Trying to find authentic answers in most religious groups is a waste of time because in fear of the psychic realm the church leaders made sure all those doors were closed  off to people of faith.  I was hanging around an Occult Forum for a while but truth is I am not really interested in conjuring spirits or participating in the rituals my work is magick through will and imagination I guess ? In fact I don't know if I believe we can conjure the dead instead I think what most conjure is ENERGY in its raw form ?  Sorry for rambling been needing to talk about this to someone for such  long time.  And one more question and I understand if no one wants to answer the question - How organised are the vampire covens ? and are they politically affiliated or motivated by any other groups ?

Hello and welcome to the community. Thank you for your detailed descriptions. Before we answer any questions I think you will find many answers about vampires and their covens around this forum in different threads. There is much scattered information that you may find valuable to you and your understanding. Feel free to join any old thread or open your own if need arises. I hope you enjoy your stay.

Welcome here, Leira.

In Peace to you.

Thank you both for the warm welcome

Welcome.

To be honest what you say in the last paragraph sounds like you're an empath. (Empaths are people with a strong connection to the world/others, those people are usually capable of feeling the emotions of others and rarely capable of controlling that without practice.)

I wouldn't completely give up on Ouija boards if I were you, if you know what you're doing they can be a very useful tool for talking with spirits.

And welcome.

salve salam and welcome

Filia Noctis wrote:Welcome.

To be honest what you say in the last paragraph sounds like you're an empath. (Empaths are people with a strong connection to the world/others, those people are usually capable of feeling the emotions of others and rarely capable of controlling that without practice.)

Thank you for the welcome  Yes I definitely pick up on others moods and atmospheric change - I am very sensitive - I think my empathic abilities kicked in as a defence mechanism when I was a very young child - I wonder sometimes if strong psychic abilities stem from growing up in a volatile or unpredictable environment ?

Stapleraindrop wrote:I wouldn't completely give up on Ouija boards if I were you, if you know what you're doing they can be a very useful tool for talking with spirits.

And welcome.

Thanks for the welcome I think the aspect I did not like about the Ouija board was the fact that all of the homes that the séances took place in took on a dark energy / atmosphere and because I did not want to plant the seed of fear in my friends minds I chose to keep my thoughts to myself but over time I came to learn that they too were picking up on the dark energy / presence and in two instances the parents themselves started to experience strange phenomena - I guess I like to control outcomes rather than have them take on a life of their own ? I am a bit of a coward when it comes to things like that but then again I can't contain the questioning side of my nature in terms of psychic / spiritual exploration - I have this deep obsession to know what lies beyond the " rational world of existence " it seems to feed a need in me

Hello Divine and Thank you