Where do you draw the line?

Going about my daily life, I have to wonder how much I should "fake it."

Where do you draw the line in your daily life? If you live in an area surrounded by people who would spit on you, condemn you, and fear you for your beliefs? I fake my personality every day... when I let out my REAL viewpoints on things, most people get offended and describe me as cold... including my partner. I've never been described as cold before now. But my REAL thought processes are often extremely cold compared to what they were before.

The person I am spending my life with shrinks away from me when I talk about my viewpoints. Describes the AK as a "creepy cult." (Putting even more difficulty and strain into arranging my behavior correctly--having the one person closest to me disrespect what makes me feel alive is confusing at best and enraging at worst). It seems almost like they think it's a bad thing when the few people close to me describe me as reclusive and antisocial. Sometimes it takes a great deal of energy even to socialize with people I actually like. There comes a time when I get tired of it all... putting on that "sheepskin" every day is enormously draining.

I guess my ultimate question is, at what point do you decide you aren't spiritually compatible with your closest circle of people? Is it something to ignore, if they say they care about you? The only reason I ask is because this problem is really hindering my development along the path... I feel like I have to hide...

Personally I grew tired of the doubt and integrated my 'circle' into metaphysical ideas, beleifs and discussion. I guess its a lot worse in the states tho :/.

Granted, if you told your (lets say) 12 year old self that a magic purple book published by a vampire would awaken your soul, you wouldn't believe that would you? Maybe you would, but that's a stretch for most people.

How you can date someone so skeptical though... that takes some strength gurl.

Children that grow up with a parent telling them they have to do this, and do that to fit in, otherwise the child would embarrass the parent if they did not do it, tends to leave when they are old enough to get out and they find that were not living their own life when they discover they were a slave to another's way of thinking.  You are a slave for others at present.  Get the hell out if you are not happy.  It has been suggested to you before.  Are you listening?

You are completely correct... many have warned me before. I'm caught between this battle of, 'most of the time it's good' and then the other side... the other person's primary goal in life is to reproduce and honestly, I abhor the lack of spiritual goals. The other side... which is complete mindlessness and peace (with the aid of a blindfold.) I gain some things but often feel like I'm taking spiritual sleeping pills.

Part of it is that I have to wonder... what exactly is the nature of my own soul? Why did I even discover the AB? Do I feel that my soul isn't human because that's the truth, or because of my own ego? If this is all the product of my ego then maybe I should just sit tight and enjoy those sleeping pills. Now, I know that this is an awful way of thinking counterproductive to development. I'm trying to fight through it and be strong...

Just a question?....Have you ever relaxed down to a trance state and then gone within to visit with your spiritual self...or what ever term you want to use for it? You need to go for a visit. You can find the answer and you can trust yourself....your higher self.

Actually, I haven't...
I'm currently working it though... even the smallest amounts of meditations have good results for me. My main problem at this point is trusting that I can pull myself out of this and ignoring other people's opinions.

I am serious about this path... so you are right, I do need to go for a visit.