Hello to all: My Experience

Greetings Everyone,

I would like to share a little about myself and my experience that has ultimately led me here to this forum. I have browsed through most of the forum, reading the members posts about many topics that are very interesting. I have never had much of an interest in vampires or any realm concerning things of such nature. Although I have never been turned off by it either, I just haven't been able to connect with many ideals that others or groups have had in my experience. I joined this site because I am very attracted to the level of intellect, respect, and openness about all things truly spiritual and sacred, that the forum and forum members have set a standard for. It is not something that you find everyday.
Therefore I would like to share my experience with you all in hopes that I can find some insight and peace into my life and the larger whole.

I am going to try to keep this as short and to the point as possible as I have a real tendency to give loads of detail.

My entire life, and before this life which I can remember clearly and many others, I have been dedicated to spiritual growth and sacred Truth and Knowledge or all things hidden and sometimes things that seem just rather obvious. lol I spent much time learning and communing with beings that are not physically with me. Many of these being I am intimately connect to and very close with. One being a male or masculine figure that I have always termed my significant other or my equal. I have lived my whole life preparing for the day that I would be with him in my physical life from as far back as I can remember which was about 3 years old. It was never something that I placed out of the ordinary until I was older and realized that other did not see nor experience the same as I did. I have always been connected more to the enteric realms than the physical although as a child I could not tell the difference between the two. It was more like one day I woke up and realized I was on planet Earth with a bunch of crazies who didn't seem to know anything about anything.

As I have gotten older I have tried so very hard to balance my life with the strangeness of society, but continued my path toward Knowledge and the being that I would meet again. Mostly I was angry, frustrated and felt lonely. At the age of 20, I gained the balanced I had long sought for, and I could feel the male being close to me and eventually see a figure in my mind's eye. He was caressing my energy and being. Always an elevating, yet haunting experience.

One evening while I was sleeping, he came to me. The most beautiful sight I have beheld. In the dream we were outside in an open field surrounded my the forest with a wooded canopy above us. All the was illuminated was by the bright and large full moon that was hung low in the sky. He was exactly what I had seen in my mind's eye. Tall and dark. His eyes dark brown but appearing to be crystal blue in the moon's light. His power strength was comforting to me and in the moment I felt my deep soul open completely. It was time for me to let it all out and let it all go. He reached toward me and embraced me and it felt like my chest area was exploding but with such grace. It felt like it was being pulled and sucked out of me into him. I reached a state of ecstasy and grace. As this took place my entire body became limp in his embrace and he continued to hold me until the entirety of it was drawn from me. Soon after the dream I woke up and felt the impression still there. My life after that was never the same and something inside of me was awakened.

For one moment in my life I felt complete in the sense that I had found someone who was equal in strength and being to myself. It was also a true affirmation of what I thought might have just been crazy. I had been waiting to find someone like me, who was touched by the same essence that I knew inside of myself.

It wasn't until I read information about the Order of Aset Ka and non-mythical vampires that I found a great resemblance in the dream of what was taking place. I have recently received, in the mail, an order of the Asetian Bible and I am currently burning through it. I am looking to connect and grow and ultimately transform into whom I am meant to be. I am 23 today and living the average human life. Talking the talking and walking the walk. Acting like I am here to be something that I am not, but secretly only preparing for my soul's longing to be connected to the essence of my true power and those who carry the same, and the man or being who has helped to carry me through it.

I feel a calling or a pull inside of me that is sometimes very painful yet my only real true desire. Something is calling to me and will not stop until I answer.

I would like to invite any and all impressions, thoughts or opinions of my experience. And for those who have had the patience to read my whole intro, you’re a real trooper. loll

Thank you,
SarangGa

This was a very interesting post, thank you for sharing all of that.
I just got curious at something... when does the AK and the Asetian tradition come into play with what you believe might be your path and your nature? Just interesting in knowing more about your story.

Oh, and welcome to this community!

Jonathan

Several reasons really. And thank you for asking the question, because it cause me to search myself and to really have an answer. I will do my best to explain.

By definition of society or general perception I have not interpreted life in the same way as most people. Words like “occult” or “vampires” honestly don’t have the same weight to me as it might to others. Life expresses itself in many different forms, I do not think vampires are odd or strange, more like a part of the equation. Sometimes these words are used to better express ourselves but what I really am interested in is what manifests underneath these things, the undercurrents in life. Basically I do not judge. I wouldn’t call myself a vampire and I don’t think I would appear as one to anyone else. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Most likely, if I claimed to be a vampire or like a vampire in nature someone would probably believe that I was insincere or that I would an insult to the nature of vampirism, and I do not want to offend. Mostly I have found that people believe that I am whoever they want me to be, whatever is convenient for them. However I can’t say that I don’t share beliefs, ideals, or interests with vampires, like many on this forum. I do share a love of things dark in nature and I do in fact love to feed and always have. I don’t make much of a practice of it at this point, but have always wanted to. Mostly because I would prefer a willing donor, and more meaningful feed, someone who shares my feelings and desires. So far I have come up empty handed on that.

I just want to be very careful as to not get caught up in another’s definition of my own experience because it had been hard for me to see myself clearly in others. At the same time I want to give full disclosure that what I know of vampires is only what I know from historical cliché or folklore stories, third hand information. I don’t want to claim any kind of expertise on a subject that I am not privy to. While I believe it is subjective in nature. I am trying to stay as true to my experience as possible while respecting the views of others in this forum.

As far as the Aset Ka, I don’t know how else to put it except that in what I see it is the exact energy signature of a group of people I have had camaraderie with for as long as I can remember, which is a long time. I have for my entire life searched for a source of truth that was compatible with what I knew inside of myself, nowhere else reflected in the world that I had experienced. I have found bits and pieces here, but nothing so pure as the Truth given by the Aset Ka in their release of the Asetian Bible. Mystical creatures, symbols, and magick aren’t very mysterious to me at all. I have experienced great Love and great Darkness and felt home in both of them, to me they create the symbiosis of ultimate beauty to behold in life.

So I was wondering what your thoughts might be on this particular experience of mine.I hope that helps, and thanks for the welcome!

Greetings and welcome to our community.

Aghrab

Greetings and welcome to the forums SarangGa.

Welcome to the forum SaranGa.

Greetings SaranGa

Hello and welcome, SaranGa

Welcome to this community, SarangGa. And thank you for the extensive introduction. It was a brave and generous thing of you to do.

I certainly look forward to more of your posts.

Just one remark, SarangGa:

While I am very much touched by your story, which is clear and honest, and yet as different as you are from everyone else, I must say that when you say:

I am 23 today and living the average human life. Talking the talking and walking the walk.

I would like, if I may and hoping not to sound paternalising, to warn you off against a full rejection of all things "mundane" and "human". Regardless of what your soul and spirit are and how close you are to your own path of evolution, regardless of the invisible male guide that you dream about, you are still configured, physically, as a human. You have been placed in a world that follows certain laws - not just the laws of nature but also laws of living. Be weary of trying to break with everything before you know EXACTLY what it is you can do without. Whatever your chosen path is.

Thank you for your welcome and your comment. It is always good to be reminded of this and I thank you. I am working on this very subject. I probably needed to make myself a little clearer, although I must have spoken in this way for a reason.

Human nature and Nature aren't really different, but due to man's mind often times seem to go against the flow of Nature. I believe I was trying to describe the society of; you're born, you work, have a house, family, save for retirement so you can have financial and medical security and above all do not stray from the path. A cookie cutter, straight and narrow type of life for the sole purpose of holding off on your life until you have secured your future. I just think this is missing, but I too need to be careful not to miss out on what is really there. I prefer to go down the side roads a bit while I am traveling down the path.

I see though that your intuition saw something else there, rightfully so. It is important not to keep yourself too far away from the mundane, like you said, just as much as it is important to stray from it at times. Lesson learned, Syrianeh. ;-) That is why I am here.

Welcome to the forum SarangGa!!!
I'm a beginner here too~ Let's learn together ^w^

SarangGa:

Yes, I hear you. I too have always felt like I never belonged on this staged play called society. Whilst there are many things about my present life that I wish to change, there are no conventions for me to follow. I think real freedom comes from choice; whenever you feel that you are at a poin in your life where you are totally free to choose your way, and the only commitments that hold you back are those built on love, you can say you're on the right path.

But then again, we all have a different way of looking at it

This reminds me of that beautiful poem by Robert Frost, that I will quote here if I may (though most of you probably already know it):

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth. Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same. And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
Er... sorry if this turned out to be a bit off-topic

Greetings ,

and welcome to the forums SarangGa, nice to have you here .

Indeed the process of learning is always unfinished and always on-going , so I would like to give some balance coming with another point of view .
Searching , feeling , existing outside of mundane and human ,is not something dangerous so i think if we put a warning in front of it is somehow too much .
I think It depends on every individual and on the nature of the indivdual .
There are many beings existing outside what we call mundane and human and not in danger at all .
I think if one follows his /her heart and nature ,and it comes naturally ,at a certain point it could be a relief and even helpfull sometimes to cut needless , useless links .

Hellen