Salutations and Introductions?

Someone else posted an intro in this section,so I suppose this is the most appropriate forum to post in for this (If I'm wrong, I apologize)..

uh let's see.

Who am I?
Well, I go by the name Amelia Nightside. It is not my birth, legal or "given" name, but it is a chosen "nightside" name for myself. Why Amelia? Simply because it shortens to "A Nightside" while I was trying to come up with a nightside name for myself. I wasn't very creative with it, but it serves it's purpose and I quite like the name Amelia, Mia or Amy/i.

What am I?
I suppose that depends on your personal definition of terms.
I consider myself a Pranic or energy, Vampire. I also consider myself Otherkin/Therian.
I began learning about Vampires around the age of 10 or so, as a side, I think it's good to note that I was actually not allowed to watch horror movies and had no real interest in vampires until that time. My brother was into video games, I watched. I watched a particular video game of a "vampire" who needed both blood from living creatures and souls from the enemies he killed. I remember this, at least from my extremely limited perspective, being unique, and I remember thinking how ridiculous it was that no matter how full the character's health bar was, it killed the human or other creature every time he fed. I felt this was unrealistic, and it also apparently sunk a bit of fear into my head. I remember wondering to myself if vampires, of any kind (only knowing the "monsters" of myth), were real and if I had to fear for my life. I remember thinking, that if they only needed a little, I wouldn't mind sharing blood, but I didn't want to die. I was a silly, over-imaginative little girl.

Anyway, I began researching, to quiet my irrational fear. I started with a single article, and by 14 years old (ish) I'd found myself among a small forum of individuals claiming to be vampires. I sort of laughed at the idea of vampires being real, but over time, they clarified things to me, this was my first taste of (prepares self for groan) The Online Vampire Community. I didn't really think of myself as one of them, but found myself increasingly hungry for more knowledge. I loved learning at that time, and this subject was definitely new.

In reading, discussing and overall just getting to know some of these individuals, it came up that I might be one myself. I doubted it, but when described symptoms and the like, it did fit. It took me some time, but, with much self-analysis and experimentations, I eventually accepted myself as I am. I am a Vampire because I need to take in metaphysical and life force energies.

Why am I here?
Well, a few years ago, I followed the crowds onto Facebook and made myself quite at home there. Over recent year, or so, Facebook has developed a new name policy. On top of that, it is common for immature individuals who disagree with you or who don't like you (regardless of their reason) to report your account to website administration. Because of the combination, I no longer have a profile, under this name, on Facebook. Since this is now a thing and I don't see it being remedied any time soon, I've decided to find my way back into all the old forums.

Now, I have mentioned, that I thought I'd been a member of this forum some time ago, but figured my profile had been deleted due to inactivity. Funny that, as of today I actually found the forum that I was looking for (and the account is still registered).. so I'm sort of here by mistake, though I can't lie, it's quite interesting, regardless of my personal beliefs, and I'd like to stay if you'll all have me (:

What is my favorite color
Purple.

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Pfft, heck if I know.


Etcetera
Have questions? Please ask. (:

Welcome, even if by mistake.
Often things that appear to be mistakes aren't but time will be the judge of that.

Hi there. You bumped into quite the odd place I tell you that. Reading your introduction and trying to gauge the timeline, I'm wondering what was the material on vampirism you first had contact with in the VC? I'm guessing maybe Belanger's stuff?

The video game that sparked my fear, and led me to the direction of better understanding was Soul Reaver. The article was not written by Belanger, though in time I did find my way to her stuff, which I related to a lot as well (though the Egyptian references I sort of wrote off as being specific to her house/organization and I honestly didn't care if it applied to me or not). The article was actually written by Inanna Arthen, and years later (when FB became popular) I finally got to speak with her a bit, and she confessed the piece was written in like the 80s (don't quote me) and that the information was outdated and needed much modification.

Still, I was grateful for that piece. It was enough to calm my irrational fear, and to spark a subtle interest. I honestly dismissed it after reading it. My fear was done so I had no need to think over it more, but when someone from that small forum suggested the possibility of my own vampirism to me based on almost a year of talking and describing of "symptoms", invited me to that forum. If I hadn't seen that article previously, I might not have been as receptive and open minded enough to learn more.

Here is the piece: http://www.earthspirit.com/fireheart/fhvampire.html

Here is, I think her modifications:
http://bylightunseen.net/revisit.htm

There goes another one

Oh yes I know who Inanna is. Do you mind if I ask what was this small forum you talk about and misjudged as this one?

Heruset wrote:There goes another one

Something wrong?

Nightshade wrote:Oh yes I know who Inanna is. Do you mind if I ask what was this small forum you talk about and misjudged as this one?

The "small forum" form my beginnings and the one I was trying to reconnect to but found this instead, aren't the same forum. The one I mistook was this one, is one run by the South African vampire community. Forum communities have been so dead due to social networking, I figured perhaps there was a change in staff/ownership. They really aren't similar except in the skin/design of the forum (black and red)...

In many other communities people are likely to speak ill of this forum. At least it has been like that for years. A part of the OVC (now they call it GVC?), especially those more closely tied to its roleplaying side, usually have some kind of grudge against the Aset Ka and the community that studies their tradition, so we're often a target to all sorts of misconceptions over and over again.

Anyways make your own judgement without the influence of others if possible.

Jonathan wrote:In many other communities people are likely to speak ill of this forum. At least it has been like that for years. A part of the OVC (now they call it GVC?), especially those more closely tied to its roleplaying side, usually have some kind of grudge against the Aset Ka and the community that studies their tradition, so we're often a target to all sorts of misconceptions over and over again.

Anyways make your own judgement without the influence of others if possible.

Well, I know at first look, this site seemed a little, how do I put it, intense? I mean I questioned if it was actually a roleplay site, but after reading through a few threads, I realized it was serious and opened my mind a bit to consider the actual content rather than the percieved tone.

The closest I can relate is this individual I met, Etu Malku(?), he is or was a member of the Aset Ka or similar organization if memory serves. He often enters a thread or forum and appears troll-like to people, calling out self-identified vampries as being not what they claim but something else. Honestly, I find there to be knowledgge and value in all points, and in the rare times he gets a chance to explain and thoroughly discuss things, I think he may have something in what he says. (Probably shouldn't name drop. I feel like I'm talking about him behind his back, which isn't right). .. but, it's primarily thanks to him that I've heard of the Aset Ka (primarily) and other groups. I do recall skimming through a thread in this forum where his name was dropped with a tone of distaste or displeasure so I hope my being familiar with him isn't an issue. I have no problems with him, myself.

I hold no grudge except when someone blatantly tries to call me a liar before understanding where I come from. I can kind of understand the idea of "predatory spirituality" being well, an undesirable practice to accept (though I admit, my only understanding is that it reads as a choice to feed, not a need to do so, and that feeding can sometimes be done indiscriminatorily and used to harm others). I don't see my donors as victims or prey, but willing donors, equal to me, but willing to give me a piece of themselves that I wouldn't be well if I had to be without (and trust me I've gone without for extended periods of time, and it's no fun). ..and on a related note, the "damage" to the energy body thing, while it made sense when I was first learning, didn't seem to ring quite right with me. The description of a "metabolism" seems more appropriate for my case, though I suppose a metabolism that is too fast, too slow or otherwise not processing energy properly could be described as "broken" I suppose.

I am familiar with a few occult and/or left hand path groups (individuals rather) who's tone and word choice come off as very, holier than thou, and seem very disrespectful to others, which indeed leaves a bad impression, but I try not to judge a group based on a couple of individuals.

Maxx wrote:

A.Nightside wrote:

Jonathan wrote:In many other communities people are likely to speak ill of this forum. At least it has been like that for years. A part of the OVC (now they call it GVC?), especially those more closely tied to its roleplaying side, usually have some kind of grudge against the Aset Ka and the community that studies their tradition, so we're often a target to all sorts of misconceptions over and over again.

Anyways make your own judgement without the influence of others if possible.

Well, I know at first look, this site seemed a little, how do I put it, intense? I mean I questioned if it was actually a roleplay site, but after reading through a few threads, I realized it was serious and opened my mind a bit to consider the actual content rather than the percieved tone.

The closest I can relate is this individual I met, Etu Malku(?), he is or was a member of the Aset Ka or similar organization if memory serves. He often enters a thread or forum and appears troll-like to people, calling out self-identified vampries as being not what they claim but something else. Honestly, I find there to be knowledgge and value in all points, and in the rare times he gets a chance to explain and thoroughly discuss things, I think he may have something in what he says. (Probably shouldn't name drop. I feel like I'm talking about him behind his back, which isn't right). .. but, it's primarily thanks to him that I've heard of the Aset Ka (primarily) and other groups. I do recall skimming through a thread in this forum where his name was dropped with a tone of distaste or displeasure so I hope my being familiar with him isn't an issue. I have no problems with him, myself.

I hold no grudge except when someone blatantly tries to call me a liar before understanding where I come from. I can kind of understand the idea of "predatory spirituality" being well, an undesirable practice to accept (though I admit, my only understanding is that it reads as a choice to feed, not a need to do so, and that feeding can sometimes be done indiscriminatorily and used to harm others). I don't see my donors as victims or prey, but willing donors, equal to me, but willing to give me a piece of themselves that I wouldn't be well if I had to be without (and trust me I've gone without for extended periods of time, and it's no fun). ..and on a related note, the "damage" to the energy body thing, while it made sense when I was first learning, didn't seem to ring quite right with me. The description of a "metabolism" seems more appropriate for my case, though I suppose a metabolism that is too fast, too slow or otherwise not processing energy properly could be described as "broken" I suppose.

I am familiar with a few occult and/or left hand path groups (individuals rather) who's tone and word choice come off as very, holier than thou, and seem very disrespectful to others, which indeed leaves a bad impression, but I try not to judge a group based on a couple of individuals.

Most of us know Etu. He is not and never was a member of the Aset Ka but I understand what you mean as he used to speak about it a lot. Go in different forums, pretend to be an Asetian, be all loud about it, we're familiar with it. He used to be a regular in this forum but at some point had a falling out with a few members, although years later it turned out that someone was playing in the middle so to be fair it was not just his fault. Anyways that’s in the past now.

Also no one here will judge you or mistreat you just because you get along with someone they might not like. At least I hope not. That would be immature so no worries there.

I can agree when you say that some occult groups act as if they’re better than others and know it all, that’s mostly true among groups that actually lack proper occult study and go on ego trips more than seeking wisdom. We try not to be like that here although we do tend to speak our minds openly and without fear of judgement. Also, since the subject was Asetianism, Asetians and Asetianists, that is definitely not a stance that we have ever seen from the Aset Ka. In fact the Aset Ka just keeps to its own inner work, they are extremely private and don't interact much with outsiders, so the Asetians (or the Aset Ka) don’t really judge or criticize anyone. Ever.

Concerning donors I agree with you, I don’t see them as victims or prey either. Actually if you want to use magick against someone and make him a prey that has nothing to do with vampirism or a donor, as anyone with proper understanding of metaphysics can do that. In fact, once again in the theme of Asetianism, the exchanges of energy are oftentimes seen as sacred and intimate, something bound to great respect and honor. So it’s different than how most LHP groups approach it and their views on predatory spirituality, even though I must say that the Aset Ka were pioneers in the very concept of predatory spirituality. Before their works and occult literature teaching about it the concept of predatory spirituality didn’t even exist, but most modern groups don't really care about historical accuracy.

I was not going to waste my effort on a reply concerning EtuMalku or whatever name he is using today.  Based on the comments from A Nightside we would be having a difference of opinion.   So I am content to leave her mind in a positive way with her friend.  My opinion about the subject in question is stated clearly throughout the forum. So it is well the Good Drill Instructor came out in a commentary. lol.

Hey I'm no instructor.

Maxx wrote:I was not going to waste my effort on a reply concerning EtuMalku or whatever name he is using today.  Based on the comments from A Nightside we would be having a difference of opinion.   So I am content to leave her mind in a positive way with her friend.  My opinion about the subject in question is stated clearly throughout the forum.  So it is well the Good Drill Instructor came out in a commentary.  lol.

You're welcome to share your opinions, Maxx. Just because I disagree with you, doesn't mean you shouldn't feel right sharing your story.

A.Nightside wrote:

Maxx wrote:I was not going to waste my effort on a reply concerning EtuMalku or whatever name he is using today.  Based on the comments from A Nightside we would be having a difference of opinion.   So I am content to leave her mind in a positive way with her friend.  My opinion about the subject in question is stated clearly throughout the forum.  So it is well the Good Drill Instructor came out in a commentary.  lol.

You're welcome to share your opinions, Maxx. Just because I disagree with you, doesn't mean you shouldn't feel right sharing your story.

I wish I could find an edit feature. I tend to hit "send" way too quickly.

My opinions, as a whole, about him are simply open minded, accepting, neutral. Not so much positive or negative. Sometimes I admire him as a source of knowledge that I'm not familiar with, other times I think he's a bit much and I'd rather keep my distance *shrugs*

I have had run ins with him outside of the forum.  I place no credible insight in him as I am aware he creates fake people and names and has them post under his followers where it appears they are breathless for his every post when it is his own posting.   LOL.   This type of fake following does not lend itself to anything about him to discuss.  There is no need to give him any notoriety here.  He is just a nobody seeking attention.  It has been shown to be the same case with those that follow and friend him that are on this forum.  They are trouble makers and seek attention to themselves in any way they can.  I am not a fan.

Maxx wrote:I have had run ins with him outside of the forum.  I place no credible insight in him as I am aware he creates fake people and names and has them post under his followers where it appears they are breathless for his every post when it is his own posting.   LOL.   This type of fake following does not lend itself to anything about him to discuss.  There is no need to give him any notoriety here.  He is just a nobody seeking attention.  It has been shown to be the same case with those that follow and friend him that are on this forum.  They are trouble makers and seek attention to themselves in any way they can.  I am not a fan.

I've actually not witnessed this behavior ever. He's often a minority, if not the only one expressing his ideas, in the circles I've interacted with him in.

there are others here that have had the same issues that I have with him. Not a big deal. Moving on from this.

Maxx wrote:there are others here that have had the same issues that I have with him.  Not a big deal.  Moving on from this.

Fair enough (:

I read your introduction, and it is quite interesting. There is something similar in my story inside the discoveries regarding vampirism, and how I understand it. The first basic conecpts that we tend to get, the theories of broken chackras, or other things like that.
How we tend to somehow, get to this idea, but feeling inside that there is much more.

I can agree when you say that some occult groups act as if they’re better than others and know it all, that’s mostly true among groups that actually lack proper occult study and go on ego trips more than seeking wisdom.

This is something that we can feel, unfortunatly this way of thinking prevents people from learning more, when exchanging ideas in a mature way.

And that is something I like about this forum, serious mature, and like Jonathan said

We try not to be like that here although we do tend to speak our minds openly and without fear of judgement.

I like this way I see the group of people here speak.

I think we all got through the feeling that something is wrong or broken with us as we discover what we are. I know I did. I just knew something was broken in me but, with reading, learning and listening to myself, my heart or soul, I discovered nothing was broken.

Being different than those around you is not broken, it's unique, beautiful and once you internalize and truly believe that, know that you become beautiful. Sure you have a lot to learn and, as ever plenty of self work to do, but, when you accept yourself for who and what you truly are, all of that work is easier, not easy by any stretch but, you know it's all a part of becoming the best you in all aspects that you can be, about becoming more beautiful and, that is always a great motivation.

Charby wrote:

Being different than those around you is not broken, it's unique, beautiful and once you internalize and truly believe that, know that you become beautiful. Sure you have a lot to learn and, as ever plenty of self work to do, but, when you accept yourself for who and what you truly are, all of that work is easier, not easy by any stretch but, you know it's all a part of becoming the best you in all aspects that you can be, about becoming more beautiful and, that is always a great motivation.

I don't really think my "need" is due to a broken anything, though I maintain the perspective of "it's possible". Over the years I've considered simply a difference. I don't think my energetic system is crippled or malfunctioning, I have considered that the process itself is either different or I simply need a higher input than the average human/physical entity to fuel the same spiritual and physical functions. It's different, worse or better, that's not really my call to make, it just is.