I Made a Full Circle - Anyone Else (or someone you know)?

Assume I am new - I am except to the knowledge that Asetian practices are real and practiced. but I have a question;
I've been attracted to asetians. It actually started as a mid - post pubescent fascination with vampires. Though, upon the term 'real vampires' I definitely wasn't exactly faithful about it. Because people (though not necessarily human), as much as I want to believe it, cannot extend their fangs, run at the speed of light or throw cars like paper.

Well. That fascination has worn off; mentally almost as soon as it started and emotionally with time. (The, 'aaaaah if only they were real~' in my silly little heart if you will.)
But my fascination with teal vampires has not. It's been 5 years since I last stepped foot on this forum. Since then, in between my overall attraction to magic and spiritual things - and a hope for answers toward things that have tormented me - Asetians stood out. Not the people only (though that's pretty fascinating) but the culture that's formed.
I have to wonder if I am alone in this fascination? Why are some people repulsed, interested, attracted (me, apparently) or obsessed? On a side note maybe I am obsessed - or a 'confused admirer' (truly love this term now 😁) in the making - it is weird and confusing to my own conscious that I left this alone 5 years ago without enough information to even be really interested, embarrassed by my own previous display of arrogance and ignorance, and scared of being a part of this. Yet a seed was planted I supposed and somehow, without further need it's been growing. Anywho, I do wonder how many people have walked away for good or walked away and returned to the Aset (asetian or curious onlooker).

(Please pardon the errors strewn into the tapestry. I am clumsy on phone keyboards. )

Hello. What was your original nickname here 5 years ago?

I find that it's not uncommon at all for someone to find the Asetian culture and wisdom while not being ready for it and returning to that path years later after having developed a certain spiritual maturity and evolution. I've met many people who have pursued different paths and occult traditions after Asetianism only to find in such study a greater proof and sign of Asetian power, leading them back to the violet mysteries. Of course there are also others who get lost forever as the majority of the world's population is too shallow not just to understand the Asetians but to maturely pursue most serious occult paths.

The pain of losing my response. And all the authentic energy that was in it. My phone must be punishing me for dropping it too often 😂
Well unfortunately I can't recall all the original thought I think.
Basically, as awkward as I feel responding to your question, that was bound to happen (And a necessary sacrifice to make my first post 100% real). It was Ambience16 (don't groan I promise I'll TRY not to be as ... well. All the things I was before 😂😂).
And then I felt like expanding on my strange position; though born into a Christian family, I don't at all feel the same as them. I do believe in the God over our house, but unlike most of my immediate family, I am restless. They are content to just sit where they are in their spiritual life never really advancing forward, instead always focused on life advancement. Which is fine, I want riches too. But I feel as of the passing year that I can no longer handle the stagnating curiosity or limitations. I've been attracted to many beliefs or parts of a belief trying to find what's missing. I've been seriously considering the past life concept. I literally feel like I am in the wrong skin, it developed wrong, it's not matching up. I feel the urge to do things I can't do as if I've known how all along. And suddenly I am 100% ok with other spiritual beings (which I realize seem to happen by often. The last one felt like a small female who left in a pout by smashing my mother's favorite vase. If they hang around me they don't seem to like her. But that's another story). Whether it's good or bad I won't rush to remove it, meanwhile the rest of my family almost always assume it's a demon and almost always get rid of it before trying to even understand why it's hanging around.
I am hoping sticking around here for a bit won't only satisfy my thirst for Asetian knowledge and their culture, but help me answer some weird happenings (I have a small list). My last sentence is another question which is, why do so many run from the occult (besides the god-awful stigma it's unfortunately been tagged with) and just be content with what they've been told from birth? Is it the possibility of a past life that tells me I need to know? Not sure.

I never wanted vampires to be real, not the sort portrayed in fictional/entertainment media and myth anyway. .. and back at like 10 years old, that's the only kind I knew of. I am generally the type to combat fear with knowledge. Think there's a monster in the closet? That's grab a flashlight or a friend and go look.

My fear led me to some information related to the Vampire Community, which blossomed more of a curiosity. In the last decade or more, I've had so many variations of and terms for "real vampires" introduced to me, thinking back, it wouldn've made my 10 year old self's head spin.

I had once glanced over the information on real vampires that hte Asetian website has, but only recently discovered this forum and started retaining all the information here (bad memory issues and a lot of offline/real life drama that distracts me and takes away from any beneficial or recreational learning).

I identify as a real vampire, I also identify as an Otherkin. While of course Asetianists have a different definition than I do, from my personal definiton, and Otherkin is someone who identifies as nonhuman in some way (while their body is clearly physically human). A Vampire, has a need to feed, but as the Asetians teach, there's more to it, and that's the part I'm trying to figure out, learn and retain. It sounds as though Asetians believe that vampires, even by my definition, are in some way nonhuman, and therefore also Otherkin. It's certainly a new avenue of thought for me, and something I wonder if it does or could apply to myself, given my interpretation of self (Identity = sense/interpretation of self) thus far.

*Let's grab a flashlight or a friend and go look.

Sometime during my curiosity in vampires, also blossomed a curiosity, a hunger for knowledge regarding religion and spirituality. I was generally raised Christian. Though my father didn't claim a religious affiliation as long as I lived with him, his family were Jehovah's Witnesses, though not practicing and likely would have been disfellowshipped had they been honest people. My mother, was raised Roman Catholic.

I have read the Satanic Bible (don't remember much more than the introduction ), I have read about various pagan paths, Christian paths, and though that initial "hunger" Has subsided, I'm still learning. Slower paced, but always curious. I have my beliefs of origin, and I want to find the best path that shares my beliefs.

Egyptian ancient cultures are interesting, but it seems a bit cliche to me. EVERYONE, especially those exploring vampires, flock to Egyptian subjects. It's like a magnet, so I avoided it for a while. I don't like jumping the bandwagon, I've made my own way.

Fascinating post! Welcome to Vampirismforum.com!