Asetian Bible or Violet Throne?

This seems familiar, in a way.

So, just to give you guys a little more perspective of my situation, I am in constant flux right now. I tend to find that if something I try to do blows up in my face in succession, even when I am moderately capable and intelligent, it's simply not meant to be at that time. Well, everything is quite literally disintegrating (not in a depressive way) and all my plans that I had going just kind of went "poof." So, now I'm just kind of sitting in my room/office going, "Okay, what the hell do I do now?"

It's a bit scary, but it feels natural. Like I have reached a crossroads. I've felt a big change in the air for sometime - still not sure if it's entirely something I will like. But uh, fingers crossed?

I can recall many periods in my life when this happened.  It was not very fun! It felt like a torrent of energy was redirected at my vibrations and surroundings, clinging to me and causing an array of complete and utter nonsense - not only would my plans fail to come fully together, but they would fail spectacularly. These moments stand out to me because they were so powerful for my growth.

The chaos and often annoying nonsense had to make its presence known in an uncomfortable way to show me that I was trying to make the wrong things fit and happen in the wrong places at the wrong time.  It was nature's way of saying, "Go over here and do this instead," but I had to quiet myself down and figure out what direction I was being tugged in.

Well, anyway, I wouldn't worry about your changes too much. It seems like you have your feet underneath you pretty well. Being able to keep an open mind and question things for yourself is already a big accomplishment. Avoiding or resisting change can sometimes be the real source of negative consequences.

Play a bit of nice music, sit back, relax, and let Khepri manifest.  

Thanks to everyone who contributed. We have a good discussion going.

Indeed it is good to see this forum become a little more active.

Rhea Kaye, when you talk about those things which caused you annoyance by being like utter nonsense, do you mean like obsessions? Has occured to me for some time in the form of thoughts being obsessive, nonsensical, extremely irritating to the point of annoyance... thoughts that I do not feel represent me at all, however it might be as you say - that they are only signals for that I am in the wrong thoughts overall or doing the wrong things where my soul does not want me. Might be a good signpost on my own journey so now I can finally understand why this, to me for a long time seemingly unexplainable nonsense, has been constantly onto me from within.

I meant to refer to those amusing (only in retrospect) situations where one thing just comes after another.  For instance, you try to make a sandwich and your cheese falls on the floor. The dog eats it, and almost immediately throws it up.  You step in it. Wash your foot off angrily in the sink. You try to leave to go to whatever errand you were about to attend to, and you stub your toe on something on the way outside. You realize you forgot your wallet - when you were already halfway there. Just mundane annoyances that, when added together, spell the message, "Stop doing what you're doing! Aren't you listening?"

I actually understand what you are referring to with thoughts like those.  They could arise from a long list of origins.  Not grounding after energy work can be a major problem and cause these things.  And if one is working on developing a heightened sensitivity, they can easily pick up on all manner of thoughts emanating from others around them - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  As if every errant thought, desire, and wish is being imprinted upon the person, remaining uncleansed and working its way to the mind like a virus. These are just a few things.

More to the point of what you brought up specifically, however:

Has occured to me for some time in the form of thoughts being obsessive, nonsensical, extremely irritating to the point of annoyance... thoughts that I do not feel represent me at all, however it might be as you say - that they are only signals for that I am in the wrong thoughts overall or doing the wrong things where my soul does not want me.

I'll just take a shot at this, theorizing. It could be that your physical self is in disharmony with a higher version of self. (I feel that this is already along the lines of what you were saying anyway.)

There are of course the more vampiric theories but I'm not entirely sure if that represents this situation you describe.

Just my take on it. I'm still learning so if anyone has anything to add, feel free.

Might be true what you are saying about "As if every errant thought, desire, and wish is being imprinted upon the person, remaining uncleansed and working its way to the mind like a virus." However it works much better as I have been starting with metaphysical practices again, such as energy work. Shielding, grounding, manipulating and draining energy, circulating/cycling it...

What are those vampiric theories, if I may ask?

A subtle system in need of vital energy can present its imbalances in many ways. One such manifestation is mental imbalance - depression, strange repetitive thoughts, even intense inertia with its resultant attachment mechanisms. Of course, the topic of the mind and mental plane is extremely broad, and includes the entire field of psychology.

It is a matter of exploration, of trial and error. If these strange obsessive thoughts dissipate with some form of vampiric feeding, that could lead to other possibilities.

Might be so or might be something else, however I will look into it. My thanks.

But not only that. Books on kuji in. The techniques, make you, you.
Also The Apocrypha. It teaches you of diet, martial arts, lovemaking. It's like a sinful pleasures of the flesh Bible. Just my two cents. Take care.