Wishing to have complete isolation

I find myself feeling this way more and more frequently of recent. I wish I could live without having to deal with others in a romantic or sexual fashion. It only proves to be increasingly bothersome, getting me no where. I'm thinking of giving up all kinds of dating immediately, because on one hand, I'm too young to be looking for a lifetime companion, and on the other hand, nothing prosperous will come from the kind of companion I desire. Not sure why I choose to post these kinds of things on this forum. I guess you all would just seem more likely to understand my decision. Anyone I have spoken to deals with sex and romance like a drug they must have, and that if you don't want it you're crazy.

I have found that sexual exchanges (albeit not true intercourse, but close enough) seem to kind of charge me enough to last a long while. After I've seemingly fed from the exchange, I lose all desire for that person, and people in general. I think that since I do seem to get some kind of useful energy from this which fuels my concentration and learning abilities, that I can surely find another way to get the same amount of energy from another source. I just haven't worked out what to do. Sure, I can play with energy, but only like a child would with a blow torch and a bunch of dynamite. Every time I have experimented in energy I have burned up all of my reserves, even when attempting to feed off others. It is likely I am only expanding my aura and burning my energy away.

So now that I have appeared to be restocked on energy, I just need some advice on how to keep myself from falling into this pattern again. The pattern I speak of is where after I have fed, over a course of approximately 4 to 6 months, my energy levels dwindle slowly downward, boosted momentarily by social interactions. I can tell they are dwindling because my sleep patterns become erratic, my digestion ceases to function properly, and I can no longer concentrate without falling asleep or losing focus, as if my body is running so weakly that it can't perform basic functions like retaining information.

Thanks for any help, in advance.

WHat are your methods of feeding? Perhaps you can try contact feeding... OR maybe you are not feeding enough? You may need more energy than you may think if you have a high metabolism...