The nature of your Soul.

Aglaé wrote:Hello, I have voted "i'm here to find that out". I'm new here i just registered yesterday!.  

Welcome here. Please tell us more about you in the off topic section of the forum.

Jonathan wrote:

Aglaé wrote:Hello, I have voted "i'm here to find that out". I'm new here i just registered yesterday!.  

Welcome here. Please tell us more about you in the off topic section of the forum.

Thank you Jonathan!. I said a bit of myself in the off topic section earlier, didn't say much actually!.   

To be honest I don't know what the nature of my own soul is or for that matter the reason I was created. I often ask myself or whatever supreme being there is why was I born? Why am I here in this time in this place? I once out of extreme depression and desperation did a tarot reading on the very questions. I drew the Ace of cups. Magic crow tarot deck. I bought it in a voodoo shop in New Orleans. I liked the vibrations I got from it when I held it in my hands so I bought it. Yeah how messed up is that the cards actually vibrate in my hands. Never had a tarot deck do that before, I have several decks I collect them, but never had one vibrate in my hands before. It's odd and cool all at once. My hands get all tingly. I digress and I'm straying off topic. I don't know what the nature of my soul is. I'd love to find out.

I've been pondering this question for some time now.I've definitely become more aware of my vampiric qualities,and a stronger connection with Asetianism through personal experience.In addition I've been aware of my transformational abilities for a lot longer.Particularly of the lupine variety.I'm not talking about a physical transformation ,but energetic and trans-plane occurences.Which I suppose would make me a kind of hybrid.

I am Witch, of this I am sure, but I have come here to learn more.
It been a difficult journey of self-discovery and I struggled with my beliefs on the topic for a long time, but this is who I am.
Not sure if you accept Pagans as Witches as I haven't seen any posts about Witches, so I don't know if you consider us to be "fake" Witches.
I do however view myself as an otherkin because of my Witch-identity, which is something many Pagans do not and I am excited to hear your thoughts on the subject.
I will admit to being agnostic about the existence of the paranormal, but I know that this is real in some way.
Agnosticism and a "psychological", as opposed to metaphysical, approach to the occult is how I assure myself that I can always, on some level, believe in a worldview and identify with a terminology that is dear to me.
I may move on the metaphysics with time, and feel closer to this today then I did say a month ago on this journey.

We do accept Witches from many traditions and paths. We aren't judgemental as to call anyone fake Witches as you mentioned. In fact many here are Pagan or have walked the Pagan path before reaching where they are now. Several respected members have in-depth experience and knowledge of Witchcraft in many forms. It's an occult field very respected around here which surprisingly has many key points in common with Asetianism, the vampire tradition from Ancient Egypt, which it's likely to have influenced the development of Witchcraft as the Asetians moved to Europe during that period of Pagan development.

I voted the last option.

I don't believe I am "simply human" as that isn't enough for me... I don't have the answers to my questions, but I'm pretty sure I'm not just human.

There's a inner "thirst" in me for something sublime, something that I've never achieved in my whole life... A hidden meaning, a new feeling that I haven't felt in my whole life, a continuous search for perfection or an ideal that would make me whole...

What I can say is that my whole Being reverberates with Gnosis (not the pseudognostic samaelian bulls***)... And the Book of Orion explains clearly something that I feel is true, as do other books that I've read that changed my life.

Is it a Forbidden Wisdom that I'm searching for? It is...
Do I know that something is wrong in the world? I do know...

However, my worst "sin" is to allow myself to remain sleeping. I'm pretty sure there's a God hidden within me, something is boiling in my blood, but I can't allow it to awake.

Everyday life really is a prison, and it doesn't allow any freedom to one who's working all day in order to be able to live his life...

Is it a sin to be conscious about one's unconsciousness, and being unable to change anything whatsoever? And if something (or everything) changed... would life, as it is, still be bearable? I have no doubt that the God within me would tear the world apart.

"In a world where one is a prisoner, the only honorable way is War."

Regards,

Pyr.

Em Hotep,

Unfortunately, I've been learning over the years that what we are is not soo important of all, any being, human or otherkin has the power of Evolution, since the first day we birth until today and we all have a firewall created by our mind that won't let our Self manifested. That's what the occultists call The endopsychic barrier. The Book Of Orion, is actually a very powerful book, inspiring and totally mysterious, but keep in mind that the book is hardwork. Only a trained mind can understand it completely, fortunately for us, the book revealed methods to win or put down this barrier. In my view, the need to tear down that wall, does not imply being otherkins, as I mentioned, anyone can take it, the most important thing is to have the conscience and the strength to do this job and triumph.

This is probably the first time I ever felt I could reveal this. I really have no safe place. I often feel at war with myself. Everything in the world I am in has been separated by good and evil. I often feel like two people fighting against each other I watch almost helplessly unable to help what I feel and know within myself. I have read a lot written here. I can say it goes over my head. It's a whole new world I haven't seen. I have never been one for history. I just know the things I feel going by one or the other nature when it calls for it to have the outward appearance of what is normal to those around me. I have learned to blend but that is not the true me. I've been feeling a stronger pull lately which has brought me here. I came here because of my vampire like traits finding there is more to know and learn. There is that side that makes me feel so alive I fight it because when the feelings rise in me they are so strong I am afraid what I might do and then there is that other side that wants to protect. I've actually debated metal illness as a cause but I think that is a weak minded argument to try to explain what isn't understood to control and keep the fear of the unknown at bay so they can lay their heads on their pillows and sleep at night. So I am here to find myself with no bias of good or evil to embrace the true me no matter what that looks like.

Welcome here, Curious One. Either Jonathan or Kalb will probably encourage you to go into the Off-Topic section and introduce yourself to the community

Curious, welcome to the community. I hope you can find the answers you seek around here. Feel free to ask anything and my advice is to spend some time reading as there is just so much information spread throughout different threads. Learning about Self is very hard work but if that's what you seek maybe you did come to the right place.

Some of these characteristics I've thought about for ages and never shared them. These might help others if they can be linked them with the correct type of soul.

1) People that know you either love you or hate you. No neutral feelings.
The people that hate you do for 2 main reasons..a) they can't label you or figure you out etc. or b) they assume something about you which isn't true....which is itself sort like the first reason.
2) You never get bored.
3) When feeling "in-tune" with the universe, some "Sethians" or the people in "that bloodline" who are especially "aware" of their surroundings stare at you and look at you in amazement
4) Have always felt a closeness, connection to God or the divine. There was never a point that "God"/divine wasn't there on my side no matter what they taught in Christianity.
5) When still a Christian, even after "moral sins" without confessing you have mystical experiences
6) The people that thought they figured you out are dumb-founded when they see you doing something that contradicts what they previously thought about you
7) Your presence either clears everyone out of a party/room or does the opposite
you are very picky in women since as far back as even Kindergarten lol.. because very attractive women...usually the prettiest ones are attracted to you
9) Hate wasting time...so much so that unless you are doing something which helps you reach your spiritual goals you resist doing it.
10) Get physically seriously ill if pushed/shamed to do things that aren't alined with your purpose in life/"true will"
11) Never took what they taught in school seriously. Didn't care about the information they force fed you. Was always self motivated/self taught in subjects that interested you.
12) Was very right brained all the way until college. School work was super difficult to focus on and didn't do well in grade school.
13) Things that interested your peers in school didn't interest you. Like going to parties, getting drunk, drugs etc.
14) Things that others thought were easy/fun were much more difficult to learn like driving
15) Hated talking in groups. Only talked one on one with people and refused to join "group" conversations.
16) Always had a connection with dogs. Kept asking parents to get a Dog when like 5 years old

Thank you for being so welcoming to me. I have a lot more reading to do.

This may be an old post, and sorry to bring it back up. But so few are of the Lycanthrope that it actually surprises me because I know several like me all around. You just have to use instincts to know who's who.

I voted lycanthrope, werewolf although I am vampire also. But I do not like coming out of the blue to tell others because I have had bad experiences. People bug me about wanting to know or I always find some type of enemy such as a rival or someone who wants to hunt me. So many others that I have run into know something about me but never tell. I think that is one reason why so many others are coming out of the closet to find out more information about themselves.

I am still trying to figure out the nature of my soul. Some soul searching is needed. But I am leaning towards Vampiric.

This is quite an old topic, but I thought I'd at add my vote to it as well, even though in a sense I shouldn't. About two years ago, my views on the world changed drastically and I have become either cynical, or simply very skeptical, can't tell which one it is.

The short of it is that don't think there enough evidence to conclude that souls exist to be begin with, but for the sake of this post I have suspended my disbelief and went with Daemon. This is what I honestly believed to be true, before my opinion changed drastically and everything went up for debate once again.

One last note, Daemon would merely the closest thing to what I believed to be. I don't want you to immediately conjure up images Daemonic Hierarchies and Infernal Legions. I had vampyric characteristics as well, but in theory any (semi-)metaphysical being that requires a higher amount energy than its physical body can generate may develop vampyric traits, it's simply a response to a need.

Now I attribute the above to psychosomatic effect that my belief may have had brought about. Hey, it is what it is.

I am not very well versed in the Asetian/Sethian distinction of vampyres. That said, vampyre is the best, most accurate description of what I feel from within.

A lengthy explanation is difficult, I have read several posts, topics and other pages on the vast internet. Some of what I have read makes realistic sense- others seem like the ravings of lunatics.

Energy manipulation, drain...defensive and offensive energy works, these are all things I have been attuned to and experiencing from the earliest memories I have of childhood.

Until the more recent past, the last decade or so, I really had no idea how to explain it all. Basically, I felt like some manner of freak show or at the very least, an exception to the norm.

I hope, being here, I will begin to find a better understanding of the larger picture, maybe relate some of my own experiences as a mostly 'solo act' to something that has more meaning than, "Oh, I can do this? How cool is that??"

I am rambling now, I am going to stop.

I voted human... I am a demon and a vampire but without this human-like center I would not have the same consciousness and desire to care for humans and would likely be more like a bloodthirsty vamp who could care less who I tear through - I feel demon soul doesn't correctly explain who I am and how I feel about humanity and the importance of humanity.

Daniel09 wrote:... I have it sometimes. It's hard to explain how my mind functions. It's really as if I function on a few completely different personalities, which value different things and say things with a bit of variation. I do sometimes have this inadvertent feeling of loyalty....

..that sounds like levels of the self reacting with the world around you, other personalities or levels of other people's selves reacting to yours as well (whether this be at an immediate conscious level or not is debatable by you). It could feel slightly like personality change though when really who you are as a whole cannot be fully expressed in one way of thinking - and this is probably also why you have loyalty issues when really as a human you cannot be completely loyal to any order without robbing yourself of your own loyalty. I too would have this issue unless the order was clear that it is okay for me to have loyalty to other things I beleive in as well.
I would guess you, like me, has possibly quite a bit of different genetics - A real mix. this is commonly one of many reasons - but the most common, that a person struggles to ever be completely one thing.

Daniel09 wrote:... I am aware that something is different afterward, and that I would have total blackouts if I was indeed harboring multiple personalities. I almost think of my personalities as colors. Sometimes I'm green, sometimes I'm blue, and sometimes I'm gray. No idea what triggers what, but it happens. Sorry if I said anything stupid. ...

This part does make it sound like other personalities... But the colors bring me back to the idea of something like panels in your consciousness which are just being used by your mind to act in a way that fits yourself as a whole maybe. Sorry if I'm way off its similar to what I understand about what our consciousness agrees on in the waking realty- And how consciousness can be expressed in a diverse way and for what it is within one persons existence/ whole self.

Daniel09 wrote:...I'm simply at a loss of understanding of myself. Every time I think I've grasped it, something changes and I get thrown for a loop all over again. I'll meditate on it, but I get the intuitive feeling that this changing aspect of me won't change...

Here is another sign of having too much diversity within your genetics for it to be able to just settle down on being 100% of one thing -especially being completely loyal to an ideology, religion, or even heritage ... I do not really beleive there is such a thing as too much diversity but I'm saying too much in respect to how capable you are of hands-down serving someone or a group of someone's to absolution. I would say maybe you were not built to serve an order and instead should seek deeper understanding about all parts of your existence.

Victor wrote:... it is their own mind and ego the reasons behind why their society is so cursed by wars and misunderstandings. People don't have natural loyalty and respect to the natural cycles of the Universe, nor can they comprehend it. They are too self-centered and all they think about is ...

I see what you're saying but I wouldn't put it that way if you truly understand. Once you seek a one-ness with God, the earth, the universe.... It is likely these very same existences/entities/deities are going to respond with - either through dreams or signs or divine scripture - that actually your existence as a singular person does matter. Observing and analyzing reality and the way life is and your fellow human and then deciding your opinions and where you stand on the matter is a key part of our humanity. Not ignorantly saying "we are worthless we will reject ourselves and will walk into oblivion to serve this God." - that is likely a demon of malicious intent which wishes to harvest/harness humanity and take what is theirs from them and has very carefully mastered the art of being something of a spiritual con artist. A real creator and God expects loyalty first but this loyalty you would find immediately reflects on you and you would realize you are serving your own existence as well as God... God wishes his/her/its creation to be happy but where the happiness starts is by loyalty because only God can bring about the clarity which steadies you. Whereas if you walked off rebellious and cursing God you would never find that God simply wanted to give you a strong base and way of life which brings about your success and by this you are honoring God and yet honoring God and being happy become, always, one in the same.


[/quote="ElwinSeavers"]...Not sure if you accept Pagans as Witches as I haven't seen any posts about Witches, so I don't know if you consider us to be "fake" Witches.
I do however view myself as an otherkin because of my Witch-identity, which is something many Pagans do not and I am excited to hear your thoughts on the subject.[/quote]

I took notice to your mention of "fake"witches. Everyone would probably have a different idea of what fake witches would be but I think the only true/real witch is someone that isn't raised/born into traditions but is meant/predestined to be a witch and would have the natural inability to be anything except what they are as a witch from birth: (having all the natural gifts of a witch, having them from birth, and with near perfect understanding of what and how and why). to me, other forms of witchery/witchcrafting or ritual-like pagan concepts is "found", "learned", "practiced", or "instilled"... I think it's possible in rare circumstances that this type of witch who has become rather than "just is"(almost miraculously) could be a "real" witch.... But rarely.

It is not as though most of these things can go hand in hand. 🙄

I would say that the flavour of my soul is 'vampire', with the physiological manifestation of 'sanguivore', among other proclivities.

Upon dipping a toe into the AK literature (that needs to be sorely revisted), the particular quote of 'inhuman soul within a human body; an immortal spirit in a mortal shell' resonates particularly strongly. This isn't something that is a new inclination of thought for me, and has been a feeling once far more vague since the earliest years that I can remember. It narrowed down est. a decade ago, and has further narrowed - at least in relation to the terminology used in reference - in the past five or so years.

My relationship between the essence and manifestation is a personal one, and certainly not one that I would ever demand others adhere to. The relationship between one and the other is something that I am continually exploring; what it means to me, how it relates to present theories and so forth.

Well said, nachtzehren. From your words I presume you may find many elements of resonance within the Asetian culture and tradition.

I identify as, and therefore believe I am other Therian (wolf) and Vampire (for want of a better word). However if all it takes, in this context, to be vampire is an inhuman soul, then Therian would also equate to Vampire. (I'm well aware that there's more to being a vampire than just one trait in any context).

A.Nightside wrote:I identify as, and therefore believe I am other Therian (wolf & feline) and Vampire (for want of a better word). However if all it takes, in this context, to be vampire is an inhuman soul, then Therian would also equate to Vampire. (I'm well aware that there's more to being a vampire than just one trait in any context).

edit.