Resonance and Reflections

Nightshade wrote:I second the opinions of Lynskha and Rhea Kaye. If you're undecided between those two books definately get the Violet Throne since it already includes the Book of Orion alongside other valuable material, not to mention that its version of the Asetian Bible is far superior to the original public edition most people get as standalone.

Jonathan wrote:Curious to see this here on the forum, it seems that this is how the universe conspires sometimes. I was just talking on the phone with a friend from the UK who just ordered his second copy of the Violet Throne as the first one got ruined and he told me that right now the book is on a really big sale on Amazon.co.uk down 60% of the price. That’s quite a rare chance to get it for such a low price. If someone is looking for that specific book, seems like this is a great time to buy it.

Rhea Kaye wrote:Wow... interesting coincidence there. What a markdown!

MysticLightShinethForth wrote:Bumping this old thread. I actually came to think of something. Lately I have been craving pain, not for masochistic purposes, but for transcending pain and showing vigorous defiance towards it; a conquering strength and spirit over the physical, entirerly overcoming its frailties. This includes drenching myself in cold showers and literally devouring the feeling of my pain from hurts. I found it interesting. I know others talked about it in this thread and wondered if they reasoned the same. It was also a trait of the Concubine Lineage if I remember correctly. Now I do not mean to say that I am a Concubine, if that at all matches the description. I do not think I am an Asetian at all; I am merely my own very strange type of creature.

The conflict between my deep-seated innate need to heal, to enhance and the ability to offer myself as a source of vital energy has remained at odds with my own need to draw on that which is within others and in the spirits of the natural world to keep my own subtle system operating as it should for close to half a decade. From the initial days of my early forays into the vampire community when it was still more forum-based before social media networks were a thing, I was left with the distinct and pervasive impression that I could never donate and be as I am at the core at the same time. That if I ever donated, I would no longer be able to regard myself as a vampire, a term that I had settled on after intense years of introspection, investigation and due consideration.

The confliction between something innate and interwoven with the newly-realised (even if not newly-present, upon reflection), increased by contrary attitudes within the vampire community as a whole, added to a period of disorientation and core self struggle; shifting between the two.


It has only been in the last couple of years that I have come to realise that being a vampire and being able to donate as a vampire is not contradictory. One does not invalidate the other and if anything, I feel utterly whole as an individual with such characteristics. Balanced, rather than disjointed or cobbled together.

I do not have a closed system of non-mundane sustenance and my strength can thus become another’s without being detrimental. What I draw on to feed – to sustain myself on a higher level than the base intake and to keep the metaphysical motor running and everything flowing as it should be – becomes a key reagent in an alchemical process involving vital essence in tandem as part of an intimate gesture of unreserved trust.


“Roses have both petals and thorns, my dark flower. You needn’t believe something weak because it appears delicate.” – K Maniscalco


The gesture and principle of donating also touches on highly select submission and surrender through service. It is surrendering through gestures and tasks, through usefulness and an innate disposition. In relation to donating specifically, it is making use of something that is not to my detriment while enabling the bettering, sustaining and empowerment of another. It is giving. This will not be the case for all vampires that also donate but I hope that my words can resonate or make sense to at least a few who feel similar.

Serving as a ritualistic catalyst is something that has long held a deep-rooted sense of innate rightness. The drawing in, filtering and release of energy is something that I am still only just beginning to harness control of through routine meditation as part of magical training, but I am finding it to be something that is good to be aware of in multiple contexts. My energetic awareness is deepening, my control of it improving and my vocabulary expanding – that said, I describe myself eagerly as a forever learner and will likely regard what I do as rudimentary for some time yet.

Accepting that I can be both a vampire and a vampire that can donate their vital essence to another is now within the interwoven core of my sense of Self. To feed and to be fed on in turn is as rhythmic and settled in pattern to me as the ocean’s wild tides and the beating of my heart.