Curious about Guardian’s Experiences

Hi, I’m so happy to be here and I hope I am posting in the right place.
I don’t know for sure but I suspect I might be an Asetian. It’s not something I think about often but I had a copy of the Asetian Bible and then I lost it, which saddens me as I’m re interested in finding out information and the book is a bit pricey.
It’s not easy to find information, which is probably for the best, but this forum seems really good.
One thing I learned after reading a bit here is that Guardians are often women. When I first read the book I assumed I was a Scarab but it didn’t seem to fit perfectly.
I’m wondering if anyone would be willing to share their experiences of being a Guardian?
Also, I’m wondering if it’s possible to not know if one is an Asetian? I may simply be wrong. I don’t have any interest in any kind of actual blood feeding and I don’t feel safe feeding off energy in a conscious way either. The exception is that I receive a lot of energy from providing sexual pleasure. In fact this makes up most of my social life, and other than that I only prefer interactions which revolve around metaphysical things. I don’t dislike people, I am not considered a dark or misanthropic person at all. But I do require a lot of physical solitude to a point where I am considered eccentric.
I hope this post is appropriate for this context, and if anyone has anything to share in response I would love to hear it.
Thank you.

$25 is not “a bit pricey” but if you insist. Your soul search should take lifetimes, and no one will be able to tell you who and what you are. The only option is self exploration and development.

The assumption that guardians are mostly women comes from the Primordial Guardian being an incarnate female and the fact that many Asetianists fiercely defend feminine divinity yet sex at incarnation has nothing to do with the essence of the soul.

There is no evidence that any lineage is more or less male or female, because they incarnate in different bodies each lifetime.

I see. I saw that written here I did not make that assumption. Also, I was not aware the book is only $25. Thank you for the reply.

Asetians are probably the rarest breed in existence, if we count metaphysical species that incarnate among humanity (vampires, otherkin, etc.); to presume one is indeed an Asetian can be quite a hasted idea. Better it is to take longer times of reflection and discovery. An honest approach to Self will pay off, of course, by looking through the veils of various mental illusions that can be quite deep which makes you tread into darker territories of an unknown depth but which in the end, if persevered, will yield the final pearl or treasure of Self-realization at the end of the cavernous darkness. Therein it shines like a resplendent, self-effulgent incandescence.  

As for there being Scorpions here able to share their experiences you'll virtually find none. We aren't the Asetians here but Asetianists, for the most part, followers of the Violet Path although of other natures. Not affiliated with, or members of, the Kemetic Order of Aset Ka.

Keep in mind Guardians or Scorpions as they're also called by their Lineage are probably among the most inscrutable and mysterious minds to humanity. Shielded in deep cloaks and known to revel in their privacy they seldom interact much with, or find great affinity, for humanity or any friendliness for society. I'd think they're likely the most solitary of the three Asetian Lineages. They value Love and Loyalty more than anything else - qualities, to such an inestimable extent, you'll seldom if by any chance at all find in humanity, to that degree.

Bear in mind new to studies of Asetianism it's wise, as always, not to jump to conclusions - walk, instead, steadily towards them by careful self-analysis, discovery and inner wisdom; a stable, balanced path of realization rather than mental ideationally concluded thought upon self-judgment which may not be accurate at all since there's the need to delve deeper into the soul to find its true kernel and such verification isn't an easy task by far.

It’s useful to hear this. I certainly got the feeling when I read the book that Scorpions are uncommon, and I probably wasn’t part of that group. Curiosity has circled back around and maybe it’s just curiosity plus trying to understand my energetic system. I did find all of the books to be fascinating.
Thank you so much for the thoughtful reply.

Just re reading and want to add, there is a lot of wisdom and beauty in these words