vampires soulmates and awakennings

hello guys , i will talk there about my story in order to get your advices and see if im other have lived same kinds of journey...
my spiritual path started when i was 5 ... i had few dreams of a women who talked me about energy an yin yang ...etc we also had energetic sex...
childhood trauma made me forget those dreams but at the year of 14 i started to have visions of her while doing mediumnity in a awake state...
it lead me to different path , drugs , shamanism, yoga...
for finaly we meet in the front of my house the 19 /12/2017...
i was already engaged in a kundalini works and what alchemist call white works...
but well having crossed her make me almost overattracted... and its like it empowered me enough to complete the crown oppening and living a sort of samadhi the 21/12 ...
we then meet the same day for real on some hotspring both guided by our intuition...

i bited her hearth ... she pierced my solar plexus... so it was enough energetic event for the day i went back home without taking her phone...
luckly she crossed a friend of me and so we cound get in contact ...
romance turned on in january 2018...
but also each one wounds got took too much place and we finnaly cutted 2 month later... and the last day she did a deep feeding on me followed by sex and love magic the days after...
for me this link was not needing magic ... because attraction was both emotionnaly , intellectual and sexual...
but well communication problem and each ones having bad entity on him made us broke...
at start i was totaly doomed ... not having knlowedge on vampirism... neither in energy apart what i learned in tennage...


now , 5 years later ... she's back in my surrounding... and still we didnt talked again... but i endured a lot of magic... i guess she folowed the seth /arhimanic path...
while on my side i have tried to stand as much clean and rightous i could ...
im now able to pratice a bit of high magic...
she s not far to be a master ... mastering obe , and ceremonial magics...but still have issue with hyper emotivity...
while on my side , i folowed a midle path... so fun thing is that i can handle her strike quite well and catching back the level...
she is 12 years older than me and have 2 twins with her....i mean they are 3 siblings ...so she gave me help from the white work of the alchemy , the dark work too ... putting light on my past, and made me lot more stronger with her hundred of attacks allong thos 5 and half years...
but sad thing look like she got lost in some left hand path... while for me this link was a pure call for hierogamos...
maybe in fact it was one of her sibling i had dreamed .... thing are so complicated ...
anyone having a similar experience to share ?

Where do I even begin....