Examining myself as a person. (Subject of reincarnation, my discoveries.)

To be honest, to most people, i'm a strange person. However, "most people" tend to be mindless, ignorant individuals who are obsessed with social conformity to the extent they are fully aware of their actions and have set their will to continue doing what they already are. On the other hand, of course, to those select few of intelligence and wisdom in this world of the lost, i am still considered somewhat self contradicting, almost a paradox, in a sense. I do not say this in a sense of being "unique", at all, just strange of course.
I understand reincarnation is a popular belief here, and i'm glad, for as i grow i feel myself drawn to it further and further. I often tend to have daytime "visions", well, not visions in truth, more like memories, of things that have occurred in different ages. I have spent some time meditating, looking within for the answers to myself, and the most vivid memory i have (please try to take this seriously, if you can) is being dressed as a British, or maybe french soldier, perhaps even american, in around the time of the British Civil Wars, or the American Civil Wars. I only remember dark, muddy rainfall, and walking up a hill, with much water and rain showing heavy resistance against me and others. There is a house, with the top blown off, as if an explosion from the inside has occurred. I don't remember much else, other than being flat on my back, and clenching at my chest, the feeling of liquid pouring out of it.
I have considered this just to be an illusion, but it is so akin to a memory..
I'm just not sure anymore.
Another one i have is from a very distant time, perhaps Ancient Egypt, or Greece. All i remember is tall, fair looking men in robes, who spoke of wisdom in a time of great war and chaos. Fire raged throughout city streets, and blood filled the alleyways leading to people's homes, yet still, there they stood, unafraid of death, as if dying with pride was the only thing they cared about.
There was some sort of attack taking place. There were slingshot like weapons (i can't remember their names) being used, like, the large, spoon shaped ones, that carry large metal balls, sometimes on fire, to use on cities in war. I don't remember what i was doing there, perhaps i was a warrior of some sort, i just remember watching them as a city burned around me, me being the only listener out of the thousands of panicking people.
A final one i have was probably a recent one, if it is subject to being considered reincarnation, and in honesty, it really isn't a nice one.
Perhaps sometime in the 18, or 1600's, London. I just remember the dark, city streets, filled with fog, and some beggars troubling people, being smacked to the ground for each time they rose.
Prostitutes were also in many places, and people seem stirred about something, worried, afraid. I know that i killed in this life, if it ever happened, and i suspect the reason was due to immense blood lust/hunger. I am unsure of the reason, and i would not like to go too far into this, for it is very graphic.


Alright, so, that's what i know of reincarnation when looking within myself.
This is not something i have constructed in a short amount of time, i have spent MUCH, MUCH time meditating, years of concentration of memories and trying to remember who i was.
Mental notes about what i could remember, hundreds of in depth conversations examining every profound detail there was.
Make of it what you will, call it complete rubbish and nothing but illusion and fantasy, i have trained myself as best i can to not be overly effected by opinion, and accept another's opinion on a subject. This proved difficult when the subject was myself, but i shall not fight your thoughts, for they are your own, and what is yours rightfully, i have no place in trying to alter.

Much Respect to you all.

Sanguine wrote:There were slingshot like weapons (i can't remember their names)

Sorry about this, feel like an idiot now.
Of course, they are catapults. Couldn't remember for a second, apologies.

You know what? i think i'll be completely honest here, because something, some sort of strange, archaic instinct is prompting me to trust this community.
At a young age i experienced something that to this day i'm still seeking answers to. It was the feeling of my soul, (cringing while i write this.. sounds corny, i know) almost being torn apart. I didn't know why, or what happened, but this period of time went on for a good while (this happened to me at a very, very young age). I hadn't been interested too much in the occult previously, but since birth, i had always been somewhat a spiritual person. It was after this, i began noticing.. changes.
In my attitude, how i felt. There was this new "darkness" within me i had not thought existed, and it wasn't something i rejected, i felt it was part of me. Something that had been dormant, but had now been awakened. My interest in the Occult began to grow, i began to study topics in the occult as best i could, etc. And, i began to seek great knowledge, as much as i could, on this path i was on. I researched into Dark Magic, TLHP, etc, it all seemed like something i was, not something i was interested in..
No.. it went so much deeper than that..
Like the blood is the fluid that sustains the heart, but the heart also keeps it going,
so was this new darkness part of my soul, and my soul would keep it going, working as one.
This didn't seem new at all. It seemed, as mentioned, dormant, but awakened.
I began to find myself very, well, talented in energy work. I was able to enter a state of instant Nirvana at will when my mind was in a state of work and calm. I began to practice Telekinesis, getting quick results, dabbling here and there in Psychokinesis and other elements that can be manipulated. This didn't seem like a path i was setting for myself..
It seemed like one that had been set long ago. I just continued on it, embracing this new, strange change. It was as if i was reborn, and this was something that happened naturally with each lifetime i entered. Begin normally, averagely, begin to grow, destroy, and create, and grow from what i was and had become.
It wasn't long before i started experiencing this emptiness whenever i ate anything. It was as if it wasn't enough, there was almost another hunger that needed more.
Soon after that, among many other strange changes and spiritual energies being electrified throughout my system, i awakened to my vampiric nature. The hunger came on at full force, as if i had been starving for weeks. I was confused, unsure of what was happening. The only thing on my mind was blood at that time, to be honest. Soon after feeding, there was this filling of energy within my system, as if i was empowering this energy within me. As i did this, i began to notice becoming much more powerful in the occult subjects i was studying. I had lost any and all fear of dabbling in subjects like demonology, necromancy even, it was as if my shadow was showing what i was inside as i walked in the sun. I couldn't explain this new found change. I wanted answers. Was i a vampire? how could this be possible? is it even possible?
I continued searching. More and more answers were all i asked for. I kept searching and researching, and eventually, one day, i stumbled upon this forum right here. I had my dealings with the TOV, and i do not favor them at all. I felt as if i naturally already knew most of the techniques and such they taught, and their greed for wealth was only leading them to chaos and disruption within their "family", i could see. So i left.
And that's when, for the first time in my life, i read the term "Aset Ka."
I was intrigued. What was this?
The following thoughts, (somewhat similar, anyway) rushed into my head at once.
"Aset, egyptian? probably. Ka? lifeforce. Probably referencing a God of some sort. Seems interesting.
Hermetic? Nah.. maybe Kermetic? seems more along those lines..
Seems familiar, powerful. Better dig deeper"
I then found the wiki page (think it was wiki), now taken down, explaining them. I was intrigued into this subject, and talked to a friend about this forum. He looked into it for a while, said Victor knew what he was talking about and to start there.
Went over a good few notes on here, plan on buying the interesting book from the AK site to learn more,
and well, with much ofc in between missed out, here i am.
I feel a connection to this, and i don't know why. There's something that tells me, something deep down inside, that i have to go with this. That's it part of my journey in this life, and an important step that will change not only how many steps there are, but the very height of the staircase itself.

So, that's me being, open, straightforward, and honest about things.
I also looked into the damaged chakra acting with vampiric traits to repair itself, and even depression leading to psychological manifestations of an alias/secondary nature/character in order for the victim to maintain his mentality and avoid the depression subconsciously.
I have gone through so many of these possibilities, you honestly wouldn't believe me if i told you my estimate of how many i have just to "make sure" i'm right about myself.
And i'm pretty convinced i am.
Haven't read too much into these bloodlines of the AK yet, planning too as soon as i wake up, off to get some sleep for now, but..
I dunno'. Felt like i needed to say what i have, so..
make of it what you will.

You are all brothers and sisters to me,
even though i do not know you,
know that we are connected,
for if our nature's are one and the same,
then we, are one and the same.
That's my belief anyway, so as always, nothing but respect to you all, regardless of your opinion, as your openness to this is something very few people still have in this world..

Sanguine wrote:dabbling here and there in Psychokinesis

Sorry. Tired.. used spell check without actually checking.
Oh the irony.
I meant Pyrokinesis.

Em Hopte, Sanguine.

I understand what you say, but I must say that you should be more careful with what you assume. Sometimes we let our ego control us, to let us fantasize and let us think that we were really not something that we were in the past, our ego is good to create these things, lead us to death. You're correct when you say that it is possible to remember the past through meditation, energy work and drems, but such information is not valid or reliable. Aset Ka, believes that information from past lives must be approved and exploited by other members, they use the technique "Triangulation", which involves the knowledge and magical powers of three different Asetian Elders. Jonathan and Victor have mentioned this topic here before. They put interesting ideas on this technique.

In some part of time, in my past, I made a mad search as you did and I'll tell you what I saw and felt was wonderful things, but when I went after them, only two thing happened to me: Frustration, Disappointment. Those were the biggest lessons I took in life, managed to destroy my ego and made me to be wiser with the topic of past lives and ego. All this impact made ​​me look at present and think that every care is little, we should always be alert and learn this type of information and techniques with the best Masters, otherwise we will continue to give much attention to the ego.

I advise you the three books of Aset Ka, Asetian Bible, tells us about the Asetian culture and gives us insight on the general culture and magick. Kemet's book, is a book with photos only with Asetian Art in Ancient Egypt, The Book Of Orion, is also great, with the secrets of Death, Life and Reincarnation. If you really looking for wisdom and developments, you'll love the Asetian World!

Thank you very much Kalb, great post.
And i agree with the ego subject, it can override someone's life and take control of them. I researched into Buddhist techniques and Kundalini meditation a few years back, and i felt exactly as you had described. I learned to destroy me ego, and grow in wisdom instead as best i could.
Only then did i start taking these visions seriously. They were vivid, and from a first person perspective.
But i truly take into consideration what you have said, and i will meditate on it as much as i can. And, although i may be unsure of the visions, i am quite sure of my nature, as the physical hunger and attributes to towards my energy have lead me to my conclusion.
I will have to think more deeply into this subject, as best i can.

Again, thank you, my friend.