Trying to find my place...Please help

Ok so i was searching online for some answers to some questions I have but first let me give you a little inside about me.First I have always felt like I was different But im not sure how (if that makes any sense at all) And i have always been attracted to vampires and their way of life (and i dont mean the movie portrayed ones) its the whole darkness and mystery of it all...And Second I have been to doctors for very low vitamin D and its because i cant stand the sun it doesn't burn me or anything but it hurts my eyes a lot and gives me a headache and that's were vitamin D comes from and im Italian so I have naturaly darker skin but I have always been paler then normal and everytime i go to the doctors they think im on drugs because my pupils are always so dilated....so anyway i'm not going to sit here and tell you i'm someone special because by all means i'm not i'm just trying to figure out who I am and why i'm so attracted to the thought of vampirism. So if anyone would like to chat or post or anything I would love to talk about what you think I can do to help find my place

So do you live in Italy or Delaware?

I live in Delaware my great great grandfather came over here from Italy

Em Hotep,

A sun allergy is a disease that currently has solutions in modern medicine. However, I have to agree with you in some details about energy and vampires. They prefer night than day, but that does not mean they do not support the day. A flower can not live without the sun nor a fish live without water. So.. Vampires life with both energies. Sun and Moon.

I agree with what Kalb said, and I would like to say that we can not tell you whether you are different or not, neither can we tell you what you are. You are the only one who can really know what you are.

It's good you have gone to the doctor for your conditions as they could very well be a very serious medical issue.

Do not let your desire and/or your attractions create a false reality in your subconsciousness like so many that begin down this path do. It will lead you to nothing but false ends and emptiness. Your answers lie within you as Filia has said. Only through meditation of a clear mind and memory work without false desire to cloud the mind shall the truth be revealed to you. This is a lonely path, it is on this path that one learns that in the darkness of the mind truth reigns. While it is always good to share your experiences and even a joy to talk about them to others that practice remember to always analyze them yourself beforehand. Do not allow others to influence your subconsciousness by tending to what you want to hear, it will only delay your path.

As to your fascination with vampires, millions of people are fascinated with them hence the popularity of vampire movies,television shows, and literature. Even in these almost bastardize forms there is still a very strong connection to the mythos and history behind the archetype. The darkness will always fascinate people, for every person afraid of the dark there is one that must explore it.